I was just sitting here at work on my lunch break thinking of the remainder of sewing that I'm trying to squeeze in the next 2 days before the Fearless February Sew-Along ends. My mind also wandered to something I heard on yesterday. I was listening to Dr. Henry Cloud who is the author of the NY Times Bestselling Book "Boundaries" (Hands down one of the BEST books I've ever read ---definitely a LIFECHANGER!!!). Anyhow he was a guest on the New Life Live radio show and the topic of fear came up. At the very end of his discussion he summarized how one should deal with fear (the unhealthy kind) and I declare it's some of the best and simplest advice I've heard on the subject (and I've heard/read alot of advice).
He said that when it comes to Fear we should (and in this order)
1. "Hug it Out" with Fear!!!
2. Ignore it
Ok, I've heard similar advice but what really struck me was the "hug it out" part. That's kinda an odd way to think about handling one's fear. I mean I've always heard advice to "recognize one's fear". I've even heard advice to "embrace one's fear" which I believe he was alluding to here but in a way taking it a STEP MUCH FURTHER. What I take from this is we need to become intimately acquainted with our fears!!!! I mean take some time to really own them, acknowledge them, hold them close and know them inside out ----in great detail. After you've processed and accepted them then, and only then can you adequately decide to reject and ignore them and go on to act in a way contrary to them. I think too many times we are ashamed of our fears. We get a glimpse of them and run in the opposite direction. And thus we never take the time to really look into ourselves and look at the fear for what it is. It's almost like we know it's there but we keep choosing to ignore it. And all the while it keeps lurking and haunting us.
I'm not trying to be all psychological here (I'll leave that to the professionals) but I have to admit that during this Fearless February Sew Along alot of the fears I had weren't as big as I thought. I think would've recognized that if I'd taken time to really look at the fear for what it was and drew it near and embraced it----you know had a hug session with it. Now make no mistake, my sewing challenges were real. Fitting pants had always been a struggle in the past but I admit it was always fear that kept me from being relentless in trying to overcome them. I have to admit that after a couple of trials here and there I kinda got discouraged and let the notion of having well fit pants fall to the side. Well as you know, the last 2 projects I completed were pants (gray pants and denim capris) and I definitely feel proud of my efforts! I no longer have that fear. I still have a few challenges to work out but the fear is gone. As a result I feel really empowered to keep on sewing and tackling other sewing fears that I have. I guess the best way I can describe what I've learned.......
So I encourage you to have a good "hug-out" session with your sewing fears. It's ok, you're human---everyone fears something. Look at them for what they are. Even say them (in great detail) out loud to hear yourself. And after you've had that intimate time together make sure you kick them to the curb!!!! Because there's no time for fear......you've got ALOT of great sewing to do (wink)!!!!!